PHASE 01✓ DONE
Make the diamond.
Give it eyes. Make it worse.
Call it innovation.
THE FUTURE OF FINANCE. UNFORTUNATELY.
less brain.
more chain.
Like Ethereum, but we spelled it wrong.
Powered by bad decisions & a 56k modem.
No thoughts. Just blocks. Est. approximately 2000.
✦✧+
i am the
technology
technology
100%
UNSERIOUS
UNSERIOUS
↖ our entire dev team
NEW!network statusmade-up numbers. real vibes.
market cap3 sandwiches
brain cells0.0042
transactions / seceventually
days without oops0 ↘
↓ PLEASE SCROLL. WE WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS.last updated: 01/01/2000
📁 about_esereum.txt
OKAY, BUT WHAT IS ESEREUM?The decentralized
The decentralized
lack of a plan.
Some coins promise to change the world.
We promise this website will load. Probably.
Esereum is Ethereum’s extremely online cousin. Same diamond-ish energy. Significantly fewer ideas. Welcome to the proof-of-oops era.
Blazingly confusedFast enough to make the wrong decision.
Community-operated brain cellPlease wait your turn. Kevin is using it.
Zero unnecessary utilityAlso zero necessary utility.
“What if we simply made it worse?”— the founding document
⌕ eserscan.exeDEMO EXPLORER
eserscan™
● probably onlineThe block explorer for people who are lost.
latest nonsensefictional activity
⚠ network announcement
Please don't unplug the router.
The entire blockchain is in there.
FINALLY. SOME QUESTIONABLE UTILITY.
0 IQ REQUIREDless brain. more game.
▣ gas_dodger_2000.exeFREEWARE
THE OFFICIAL ESEREUM TIME WASTER
Gas Dodger
Gas Dodger
2000.
Catch the diamonds.
Dodge the gas fees.
Try having one thought.
- purple diamond +10 points
- golden diamond +30 points
- gas fee −1 life. classic.
30 seconds. 3 lives.
Imaginary points. Real procrastination.
Best score saved in this browser.
SCORE
TIME
LIVES
BEST
Ready, player oops?
Move your wallet. Collect nonsense.
Drag or tap the field. Or use ← → / A D to move. Space pauses.
A VERY DETAILED BUSINESS PLAN
the roadmaybe.
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION 🚧like everything else here
PHASE 02✓ YOU ARE HERE
Get on the internet.
Ask mom to get off the phone.
Upload this masterpiece.
PHASE 03? EVENTUALLY
Figure out crypto.
Maybe read a book.
Maybe just add another button.
📖 guestbook.html — leave evidence you were here
THE ORIGINAL SOCIAL NETWORKu have good taste.
u have good taste.
questionable, but good.
Sign our guestbook. Your message stays in this browser, like a secret on the family computer.